"Anyone who cannot come to terms with his life while he is alive needs on hand to ward off a little his despair over his fate—he has little success in this—but with the other hand he can note down what he sees among the ruins, for he sees different (and more) things than do the others; after all, dead as he is in his own lifetime, he is the real survivor. This assumes that he does not need both hands, or more hands than he has, in his struggle against despair."--Kafka



Sunday, April 10, 2011

酒肉朋友與知心好友之間


如要取捨,當然是取知心好友而放棄酒肉朋友,不過原來酒肉朋友對生活影響更大。
酒肉朋友就似食物,只是滿足你基本需要,譬如是吃喝玩樂,譬如是消磨時間,又譬如是閑中作伴,稍稍消除孤獨感。而知心好友呢,就滿足更高層次的需要,譬如愛與包容,譬如認同與肯定,甚至自我實現。於是,把酒肉朋友連根拔起,就將基本生活挖空一角。
近來感受更深,譬如看電影,譬如週日發呆,譬如郊遊,譬如上cafe,空空的一角,友人撤離,又急急找酒肉朋友替代品,那又何苦?終究不慣,而我因此很久沒有上電影院了。不欲汲汲去融入別人的圈子,做一些自己不喜歡的消磨時間事宜。interpersonal isolation還可忍,但existential isolation 最難耐。

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