"Anyone who cannot come to terms with his life while he is alive needs on hand to ward off a little his despair over his fate—he has little success in this—but with the other hand he can note down what he sees among the ruins, for he sees different (and more) things than do the others; after all, dead as he is in his own lifetime, he is the real survivor. This assumes that he does not need both hands, or more hands than he has, in his struggle against despair."--Kafka



Thursday, April 22, 2010

福榮的庸俗和美麗

(按:忙碌至死,更想認真寫字)

新聞舖天蓋地談福榮,我是全都逃避去讀的,都是庸俗的報導,譬如寫他如何如何有心為善事,如何如何犧牲自己去救人,如何如何傻氣地為貧苦兒童,如何如何不求聞達於諸侯。全都是可以意料的角度,全都是可以意料的內容。

直至讀到,他救的三位藏族孩子,為他守孝。

原來藏族人守孝,是要穿原來的衣服七七四十九日。我不了解藏人,但我突然覺得,這件事很美麗。七七四十九日,莫失莫忘,何等宏大的祝願。

然而之後又帶這三個孩子去什麼紀念晚會,孩子說是學習福榮,我讀著,shit ,又庸俗了。

我想不明白為何我這等愛公義愛善心的人,會那麼討厭這些「善心」的舉動。我承認我怕媚俗,在一個還在容忍豆腐渣工程的社會裡表揚福榮,我不感到是什麼光鮮的事情。福榮是因豆腐渣工程而死的,他一股傻勁去救人助人,就死在錙銖必計的官員手上了,而歌頌福榮德行的,也都是這群官員,整件事,很黑色幽默。

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