"Anyone who cannot come to terms with his life while he is alive needs on hand to ward off a little his despair over his fate—he has little success in this—but with the other hand he can note down what he sees among the ruins, for he sees different (and more) things than do the others; after all, dead as he is in his own lifetime, he is the real survivor. This assumes that he does not need both hands, or more hands than he has, in his struggle against despair."--Kafka



Saturday, January 1, 2011

再見不再見

(我接連看了「墨綠嫣紅」、「創戰紀」和「挪威的森林」,該寫點什麼,但我沒有心情。)

也就知道心情壞到極處了。
到了一個地步,你是清楚有些人是永遠都不想再見。
我看舞台劇「再見不再見」兩遍,我都哭得不像人,是的,我心情如何的壞,我也不會於人前流淚,但我看電影,看舞台劇,就很容易失控,「再」令人最痛心是,那個人在你最後一次見面時,你也不知道將會是最後一次。
今天遇到一件小事,我就清楚知道,什麼叫做「不再見」,原來不再見,是可以那麼輕易,那麼無聲無息,各走陌路那麼易。
也真的太容易,這種輕易令我感到人生如鴻毛,而我竟還沒有哭,為什麼呢,為什麼呢。
我這陣子也真的缺乏笑容,要復元太費勁了,我真的明白我很難離苦,在苦中真的能找到樂嗎?我清楚知道什麼叫做執著,而我知道得太遲了,我想我還需要一點頓悟。

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