"Anyone who cannot come to terms with his life while he is alive needs on hand to ward off a little his despair over his fate—he has little success in this—but with the other hand he can note down what he sees among the ruins, for he sees different (and more) things than do the others; after all, dead as he is in his own lifetime, he is the real survivor. This assumes that he does not need both hands, or more hands than he has, in his struggle against despair."--Kafka



Friday, June 26, 2009

偽文藝青年

我在幹「老本行」時,恒常讀的是一些另一些專科的書籍,待得現在大致轉了跟該專科沾點邊兒的行業後,我讀的又是另一些書籍。

不應把所有喜歡的事情當作是職業的,譬如,我喜歡文學、音樂、電影和藝術,不過,我只是喜歡而已,不想探究,只是追求在忙碌的生活外一些養份,所以在閒時,追追一眾偶像,就快樂了。(其實幾近鄧小樺的暴走狀態)

去聽梁文道和葉輝的講座,偽文藝一番,梁文道謙虛得教人吃驚,誠懇的給我在書扉題字簽名,也就不能不原諒他在「我執」的虛言巧語。他們談話輕輕鬆鬆,但字詞間有厚實的文學和哲學根底,教我想死,其實leisure 也可以專業一點對待的,如研究香港電影的前輩余慕雲先生。

也許,也許,就明天,多讀點認真的書籍吧,我跟自己說。我的惡習就是常常說「也許」,而且推說只能同一時間專心做一件事,故學識淺薄,久不用腦,這壞習慣也就應該改改了。

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